When I contacted Evan, it was a day before my 31st birthday.
I had been in and out relationships. I had been putting myself out there over and over again after each relationship ended. I was becoming scared of starting a relationship that led to nowhere but left me with a shattered heart. I was getting tired of going on meaningless dates with men whom I saw no future with. I was impatient, frustrated, deeply worried about the future of my love life and absolutely hopeless about my dating reality.
So, the day before I turned 31, I made my mind: if I were going to give myself a birthday present this year, it’d be putting an end to my clueless, fruitless and oftentimes painful dating path.
Evan was the answer to my 31st birthday wish.
I wasn’t sure what I needed from Evan at the beginning of Love U. All I knew was that I wanted to believe in love again and I wanted to find love for myself.
As the coaching continued, I realized how little I knew about men, dating men and dating men in America. That’s right. Being someone who came to this country alone not long ago, I didn’t only have to learn how to understand and communicate with men, but also learn how to date men in a different culture.
To say the least, I got my money’s worth with Evan.
Evan was not about cheap dating tricks or cheesy pickup lines.
With Evan, I learned everything I needed to know about dating: from setting up a one of a kind online profile to how to screen men online to improve my overall dating experience; from being vulnerable and receptive while dating men to how to set my own standards and gracefully reject men who fall short in their actions, etc.
But above all, I learned so much about life and grew tremendously as an individual through my coaching with Evan. Evan helped me push my own limits; challenged my black and white views on many things; raised my awareness to my blind spots and empowered me to become a more confident, open minded and brave woman that I thrive to be.
I knew I had a lot of inner work to do so I joined both of Evan’s private and group coaching for a total of seven months. A couple of months after I graduated Love U, I met someone online-
His list of hobbies doesn’t include reading and the meaning of life has always been the least of his concern. He feels comfortable when dishes are not done immediately after dinner. And his cultural competence can be summarized with knowing how to use chopsticks only.
But I went out with him anyway because Evan taught me how to pay attention and focus on a man’s characters and how he treated me. One date after another. I started realizing-
Although I may never join a book club with him, his easygoing and upbeat personalities are way more appreciated in the relationship.
Although we may never possess the same “cleaning and organizing” skill set, I feel eternally grateful that he’s been happily doing all the cooking and grocery shopping every week.
Although it’d make me very happy if he could communicate with my family in our language and know more about my cultural background, he compensates it every day with his love and commitment to me.
Evan taught me how to look for the right things instead of chasing after an illusion of a perfect man. Last month, we just celebrated our 2nd anniversary.
Looking back, I feel so thankful that I found Evan who changed my love destiny. My coaching with Evan ended but my learning and growing in love has just begun as I’m entering a new chapter in life. If there is one more wish left to make, it’d be: Evan, please share your love and wisdom with us married alums one day, will ya?
