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"You have an amazing heart for women and helping them find love."
I am in the homestretch of Love U! I am so grateful to have met you!! You have inspired me, taught me, and given me material that I will be able to listen to and use from now on. You have an amazing heart for women and helping them find love. In this life, being with a partner makes it so much sweeter and I have seen that you want that for all of us. Thank you for the heart, passion, and many hours you put into your work. I will miss your smiling face and thoughtful input. You have given me a great foundation. I have also developed some sweet relationships. I am loving the life that I am living and you were a part of that growth.
FULL LOVE STORY
"So here we are. The happiest self-quarantine couple on the planet. We don't have any FOMO because there's nothing to miss out on."
It’s happened. Your hard work and mine had paid off! Being a “yes” girl and not giving him a hard time about anything has been so rewarding (thanks to your wife for that one) and it gets easier and easier to be that way every day because of how appreciative he is of my newfound easy-going nature.
He pretty much moved his entire life into my home and - WOW - what a major life upgrade! We now have a home gym in the basement, a stock tank pool in the backyard (google it - it's hilarious), and my dog/cat are obsessed with him. I almost feel guilty for having such a happy quarantine. LOL
FULL LOVE STORY
"You’ll definitely have to come to the wedding!"
I notice, now, how terrible it is that women get so many messages that basically tell them not to expect much of men and set the expectation that you will be in an emotionally unsafe or distant relationship. It’s not true. My guy is incredible. Wants to talk through everything, but not in a cloyingly sensitivities way. He cares about taking care of my emotions. He holds me when I am freaking out. It’s amazing. I feel very lucky. He is a very good one. And cute too! And more age appropriate 🙂
FULL LOVE STORY
"We got married last year. It is the best relationship I've ever had. We're best friends and I couldn't imagine us not together."
After years of recovery from a cheating ex-husband, I was ready to date again. It became clear very quickly that most guys on dating apps (paid and unpaid) were looking for a hook-up. I tried many different apps and learnt quickly that asking for a recent picture was important. So many times, I didn't recognize the people I'd agreed to meet.
While I had fun, I knew what I was doing wouldn't get me to my end goal of a long term relationship. I was feeling ready for a change. I discovered Evan via his Love U Podcasts at first, then I bought and read, and re-read every book. I updated my profile, became much choosier about who'd I'd meet. I found that I either had lots of dates in a week, or none and I couldn't figure out why. I needed to understand how to find the guy that wanted me for me. I resonated with the advice; it was so simple.
FULL LOVE STORY
"Evan, your advice is profound yet delivered in a simple and straightforward way which makes it particularly effective!!"
This year was our first wedding anniversary and I can tell you that now I feel safe, but most of all I feel empowered to have created for myself the life I truly desire.
FULL LOVE STORY
"THANK YOU for giving me hope again and pushing me out of my comfort zone. I wouldn't be here without your help."
While I've been in good relationships (attentive, daily calls, etc.), none of them were great and obviously didn't last. This is very different. Martin is communicative, and while he's got his hands full with shared custody of his 2 young daughters, he makes sure I feel special and safe.
Martin told me he loved me on the 5-train coming home from a Jay-Z concert right before Thanksgiving. I don't even know if he'd ever heard a Jay-Z song before, but he was just happy that I was excited when he told me that he got us the tickets. We had a blast.
FULL LOVE STORY
"Since working with you, I am happy, content, less anxious, more compassionate, more understanding, more patient, loving. My sense of humor has returned."
After being a member of Match several times, I have to be honest It was a last-ditch effort. After being divorced for 15 years, dating probably 8 men over that time, I decided that I’d make one more investment of time, money and emotional energy. Men don’t flock to me, so it was really a last attempt to see if I could find the right guy. I’d heard you on Katherine Woodward Thomas’ webinar and really liked what you had to say despite the fact that I’m almost old enough to be your mother!
I learned from you something revelatory: men want to make women happy – the right men, the good men. Sometimes they don’t know how to do that, but my boyfriend really wants to make me happy. When it doesn’t happen, it’s only because he doesn’t know how. You also showed me that what I was looking for was not the right relationship for me. I am the CEO of my own life; I don’t need to be in relationship with another CEO.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I’m so glad I didn’t give up, no one should ever give up. You have to kiss A LOT of toads to find your prince."
Before joining Love U, I was really at a loss. I had ended a 16-year very difficult marriage because I knew I needed to in order to attract the love of my life. I had romantic dreams and the reality of the dating scene was a wake-up call, I don’t think I have to explain to you. We all joined for a reason. A man with answers about men! That is the “golden ticket”!
In November, I got a message from a really cute, 49 year old. I said, well, what the heck! We met at the same coffee place and I thought, he’d gorgeous! (Robert Redford type, with light brown hair and green eyes, my Fav!) Really sweet! At first, he was a bit serious, but I could tell a nice guy. His personality didn’t knock me off my socks right away, but I had a feeling he was just nervous, as was I. I was very guarded. We left the coffee shop and he grabbed me and kissed me on the mouth quickly, like a caveman. I thought it was soooo cute!
FULL LOVE STORY
"My main reason for signing up was to help me find a way of getting my long-term boyfriend to commit, but instead I've been able to see my extra-long term unfulfilling relationship of 6 years for what it is and move on from it."
I'm an attractive woman, with a vibrant personality that sometimes goes cool (not cold, lol). As a result, 've had good men and good relationships but somehow they just ended. I could easily attract the right men but I never had enough "staying power" to keep them.
Then I decided that enough was enough. I needed to understand how men think and function and learn how to get them to commit. I deserved a good, functional, balanced, happy & long-term marital relationship. From Evan, I began to realize that I seemed unemotional/aloof to these men, or sometimes too attached or too "controlling" (basically just extremes), due to my fears and insecurities of losing men I liked. I also learned that all along, I tried too hard to keep a man.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I learned from Evan that what I should be looking for is someone who will love all of me."
I felt inexperienced, inadequate and unattractive. I hadn't dated in 30 years, and the last man (my ex-husband) I was with was rude, self-centered, bad at communicating, and did nothing positive for my self-esteem. After 8 years my badly bruised ego was improving, but not enough to have the guts to reach out to a stranger who might want to 'meet up'. I edited my profile over and over and was okay with it but started googling about the fears I was having and came across Evan's website. I wanted to understand how to read between the few lines you get to read on dating sites. I felt like most men were simply saying I want someone to hang out with that likes the same stuff: hunting, fishing, camping, etc. Some men stated that they were not into games, so I imagine that women had been less than honest with them in the past. I wanted to feel semi-comfortable via the computer, trust a man enough to meet him, and then trust my judgment, which had been shaken. I'd also been told I was vulnerable, after years of being "affection-deprived".
FULL LOVE STORY
"I'm soooooo thankful for your encouraging emails and books. The biggest thing that I got out of your material, was the encouragement to keep trying."
Before buying "Why He Disappeared" and "Finding the One Online", I was newly divorced with 2 young kids, I was successful in my career, and my narcissist ex had already gotten into a relationship he felt "had a great chance of lasting.” But even before my divorce, I was alone. I'd lay awake at night, hoping and praying I could find a man that appreciated my quirks, thought I was smart and sexy, who would appreciate the things I did for him, who would cuddle on the couch, go to the symphony, and who would be a true partner.
I needed to know and needed reassurance that how I was dating and what I was doing WAS going to work. I needed the encouragement to keep trying, to not take it personally when he didn't call or text back.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I learned not to hang on to men who do not love you unconditionally, or who are not willing to commit to you on some level. They are not worth your time and anguish. Moving on is the best solution."
I had been dating a 68-year-old retired man (I am 62) for 1.5 years. I met him on Plenty of Fish. He initially came on really strong and showered me with adoration. Said he loved me, spent every weekend and a couple evenings during the week with me.
We talked about moving in together. He said he could commit; however, he seemed to hold a grudge against his grown children and his first spouse. Then one evening we had an argument over the fact that we were out with others when I hoped for alone time with him. Well, after I went out in a huff, he ghosted me! He did not return a call to him where I apologized for storming off, nor did he respond to my email or text.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I would never be with my boyfriend today if I hadn't taken Evan's advice and focused on myself and what I was bringing to a relationship."
I was about a year out from my divorce when I stumbled across Evan’s blog and his awesome book “Why He Disappeared”. After the pain and fallout of a failed marriage and the subsequent divorce proceedings and arranging shared custody of my young child, I was so thrilled to live with hope again for a happy future. I felt like I had a second chance and I was determined to make the most of it. I waited about a year to start dating again and it was during this year that I found Evan’s blog and I started “studying” before I even made myself available to date. Evan’s advice on his blog convinced me to try online dating and helped me navigate uncharted waters as I gained experience with dating and figuring out what it was exactly that I was looking for in a partner and what I was willing to walk away from.
At the core of all of Evan’s advice, what is deeply embedded into every single thing he says is very simple and straightforward, but it’s something that society doesn’t tell us as women. We are worth a man's best effort and if we don’t give the best to ourselves, we can’t expect a man to do it for us. No man owes us reassurances or security or affection or even love. Those are all things that are freely given by emotionally healthy people. You have to be willing to give it before you can expect to receive it and it all starts with giving that love and acceptance to yourself. It starts with healthy boundaries, self-care and above all, acceptance. Evan’s frank style and honesty clearly state a man's perspective and some of his advice was hard to hear, but it was invaluable.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I never thought that at age 60, I'd be writing to you with thanks and gratitude to let you know that finally, after two failed marriages (one too short, the other way too long) I met a man who loves, cares, supports, encourages, makes me feel safe, and really 'gets' me."
I never thought that at age 60, I'd be writing to you with thanks and gratitude to let you know that finally, after two failed marriages (one too short, the other way too long) I met a man who loves, cares, supports, encourages, makes me feel safe, and really 'gets' me.
It was after yet another year-long disastrous relationship that I decided enough was enough. I found you--the man of my dreams that would lead to the real-life man of my dreams--and made the decision to purchase "Why He Disappeared" and to give up control and do it your way. And boy, did I ever! After taking some time to decompress and absorb your wisdom, I signed up for a 6-month Match membership. Over that period, I went on 1-2 dates each week. There were only a few that I'd wanted to see again, which I did. But get this--the day before my subscription expired, I heard from Steve. I liked everything about him, except that he lived two states away, and initially decided not to meet. But when he told me he worked in my city all week, I changed my mind. GOOD DECISION! I am happy to report that Steve and I have just celebrated our 6-month anniversary. I have never been so happy, felt so safe, loved, and cherished. We can't imagine ever being apart, and the future is an open door for us as a couple. Evan, I can't thank you enough for the wonderful work you've offered for me and thousands of others as well. You've changed my life, and Steve's, too.
FULL LOVE STORY
"The most important lesson was to pay attention to how a guy behaves. Yes, the words are nice, but he’ll behave his way to my heart, or he won’t, and that’s all that counts."
I’ve had a long history of staying in relationships well beyond their best before date.
I was working from the belief that men didn’t really know their own minds and if our attraction was strong enough and I was attractive enough, sexy enough, whatever enough, there was a chance they’d change their mind.
The most important lesson was to pay attention to how a guy behaves. Yes, the words are nice, but he’ll behave his way to my heart, or he won’t, and that’s all that counts.
FULL LOVE STORY
"Whereas previously I had been “proactive,” investigative, wanting to read the last page of the book right at the beginning, showing up on dates expecting to be wowed. Now I’m just focusing on having fun and getting to know someone."
I finished reading Why He Disappeared in less than two days. It has very much changed my perspective on men and dating. Within a week of reading the books, I started seeing a very nice man. He is treating me very well. And I am “doing nothing.” Whereas previously I had been “proactive,” investigative, wanting to read the last page of the book right at the beginning, showing up on dates expecting to be wowed. Now I’m just focusing on having fun and getting to know someone. I have been unsure of my chemistry with the one guy I have been seeing and how attracted I am to him. He does not feel like the typical guy I would date. He is attentive and we have gone on very nice, fun dates three times in one week! I am used to guys who ignore me and tell me how busy they are because apparently I tend to seek out men who are ambitious and charismatic and have high-powered jobs. Those guys have never treated me well though. I am trying to focus on how I have been wrong about things in the past, not get ahead of myself or worry too much if a guy is 7/10 or short. It is still a struggle for me because I do like the tall, dark and handsome guy that everyone likes. But I am changing my perspective on what I really want and the right guy for me. Thanks Evan..
FULL LOVE STORY
"We're coming up on our third-year wedding anniversary and I genuinely couldn't be more happy in my marriage."
I wanted to thank you and let you know we're coming up on our third-year wedding anniversary and I genuinely couldn't be more happy in my marriage. Thank you for your book, “Why He Disappeared”, but also for the guidance you gave Lori Gottlieb in "Marry Him." I loved that book and it really helped me to find my way to Jonathan.
You're awesome. I appreciate it. 😄
FULL LOVE STORY
"After reading Evan's book, I got slapped upside the head with the surprising revelation that HE wasn't the problem! Horror of all horrors, it was ME!"
I am a 44 year old female, no children, and have been divorced for 7 years. I had recently been dumped by the love of my life in April; a wonderful man I had been dating for over a year whom I met on Match. I was seeking an answer to the question, “Why did he disappear?” I found it in Evan’s book of a similar title.
Devastated and reeling from the breakup, I needed to figure out what went wrong and how I could avoid making the same mistakes in the future by avoiding men like my ex. Well, let me just say that after reading Evan's book, I got slapped upside the head with the surprising revelation that HE wasn't the problem! Horror of all horrors, it was ME!
FULL LOVE STORY
"I seriously feel like I have magic powers! I’ve decided to not “steer” these developing relationships. Instead, I’m going to allow these men to do what they are so eager to do—COURT the woman they are interested in."
In the midst of having a new relationship come apart at its hinges, I Googled “why men pull away” and found your e-Book, “Why He Disappeared.” I took a glass of wine, my iPad and a box of Kleenex to the patio and began to read. I didn’t have to read beyond “men disappear because they don’t feel good around you,” before realizing that I had landed on what was likely going to be the single most important tool in my search for lasting love. I was able to see where I had pushed away, diminished, and even admonished many of the things that my date was seeking me to value, in him. While I knew it was unlikely that my boyfriend would return, I did know that I could apply my new wisdom in my next relationship.
I was searching for answers. I was searching for information on what to do, how to behave, and how to act—to GET HIM to return. I wasn’t prepared to learn that it was ME, however quickly realized that it was and that I had the power to CHANGE MYSELF..
FULL LOVE STORY
"I wanted to send you a happy note to say that your advice has made a really sweet difference in my thinking and my actions."
Like many of your readers, I’ve been lurking in the weeds for a while, soaking up your wisdom and learning about how things work in the dating world – a place I’ve been out of for quite a long time. My divorce has been final for two years after a 20+ year marriage.
During the last couple years, I was busy with work and teenagers, testing the waters organically within my friend network. But there was this let-down or that strange situation, and I began to realize that maybe I should delicately step my toe into the broader market. Understandably, I was scared silly. And yet, when I received your emails, your advice resonated and helped me understand the rules of engagement, something I had not thought of and certainly wasn’t savvy enough to know in my 20s when I was actively dating. Confidence, setting boundaries, being the “CEO” of my dating life – these were new and compelling concepts.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I am happy and feeling hopeful that even if this doesn’t turn out to be “the” guy I am on the right track and have the tools to make dating and love happen for me!"
I was floundering on OKCupid, not really meeting anyone I found appealing. Believe in Love taught me to be open!! Open to the possibility that a man may not be packaged as I envisioned. Keep hopeful!! HAVE FUN!! It doesn’t have to be unpleasant, so don’t make it unpleasant!
The result is that I’ve met someone I “click” with. He is very attentive and makes me feel safe, beautiful and cared for! I’m not sure if this is my “forever” but I am staying open and enjoying the process rather than focusing on the end result. I am happy and feeling hopeful that even if this doesn’t turn out to be “the” guy I am on the right track and have the tools to make dating and love happen for me!
FULL LOVE STORY
"After a confidence-shattering spiral of worse and worse non-relationships, this book convinced me that I am worthy of love. I went from feeling hopeless to feeling like love was only a matter of time.After a confidence-shattering spiral of worse and worse non-relationships, this book convinced me that I am worthy of love. I went from feeling hopeless to feeling like love was only a matter of time."
We've never met or chatted but thank you. Today I am the happiest girl alive and you are a huge part of the reason why!
After just over two years of dating, I got engaged two days ago at Christmas dinner with my now-fiance's family. A few years ago, this incredible moment felt like an impossibility. I'll skip the sob stories but after years of not knowing how to date and feeling like I could write the book on how to drive men away, your blog, programs and books helped me remake myself into a calm, attractive and highly marry-able lady! I want to give back to you somehow for all the help you've given me by telling you what most helped me, in the hopes that this will inspire you to invest in Evan’s programs. I know there are lots of women like me out there searching and searching for the help they need dating and I want to pay it forward!
FULL LOVE STORY
" If I hadn’t have listened or read your words every day, Evan, I would still be walking down the same lonely path, looking for my soulmate in men who were giving me nothing in return."
I am a divorced, 48-year-old woman who has been around the block a few times! I’m not even sure what exactly lead me to your website, but I think after years of dating and constantly being let down (and hurt) with the dating scene and men in general, I was feeling hopelessly discouraged about my future prospects for ever having a decent, healthy, loving, supportive relationship ever again. I was starting to believe it just didn’t exist! Believe me when I say that I tried everything! I’m a deep thinker who looks to herself first and I have grown and learned a lot in this lifetime. So why wasn’t I able to find a decent partner? I was beginning to think there was something seriously wrong with me. In any case, I’m not even sure what lead me to your website, but I think I went to YouTube first to look for something like “dating advice” or videos, anything to help. That is when I saw your YouTube videos, which lead me to the your website, and now on Facebook and your programs.
I know this is going to sound emotional, but following you was the best move I’ve ever made! There is something about the way you put things, so simply and matter-of-factly, and for some reason I just GET IT right away. It’s not even rocket science, but Evan I have to thank you for being a no BS, no sugar-coating type of guy. Just plain and simple language, and suddenly it’s like a light went on inside my head. It has stayed on since I first started listening and reading your advice. On a daily basis it has finally all sunk in.
FULL LOVE STORY
"Thanks to your priceless wisdom received via “Believe in Love” and from countless encouraging newsletters, I followed your sage advice and am now engaged to be married next summer!"
Evan! I have another success story for you: thanks to your priceless wisdom received via “Believe in Love” and from countless encouraging newsletters, I followed your sage advice and am now engaged to be married next summer!
I was divorced in 2016 after 26 years of marriage and 2 kids. I knew there was a man out there who would cherish me and be the grownup partner I deserved. Long story short, Barry found me on Match in March and it wasn’t long before us 2 nice Jewish boomer lovebirds from Chicago’s North Shore knew we had found our besherts.
FULL LOVE STORY
"If it hadn’t been for his advice, I wouldn’t have met the loveliest man and soulmate."
I was in a really bad place when I first subscribed to your daily emails/newsletter. My husband of 38 years left me in June last year after undergoing 2 really bad years of emotional abuse. I had been loyal to him for all of those years and loved him. I felt my life was over, that I would never find love again. That is where Evan came in, finding his website has been a life saver to me.
As I had never dated since I was 17, I was completely in the dark as to how do I now date, when life is so different. So, I took the risk of joining a dating site, a had a few dates that did not come to anything, I was nervous as you hear so much bad press of men taking advantage of you.
Then I read one of Evan’s blogs that talked about whether we have a checklist of what we want in a man and if we do what might we be missing because of this. I had just been contacted by a man on-line, we spoke through chat and on the telephone once, then we arranged to meet for a coffee and I chickened out, as I didn’t have that initial ‘wow’, I also felt nervous, in case he followed me home.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I can honestly say I stopped believing that there were "good guys out there until I met this man."
I had signed up for a few dating sites, would go on a few dates, get discouraged in men in general and jump off the site. I really starting wondering what was wrong with me. Then I started reading your stuff I saw myself in many of your scenarios. Did I expect too much of men? (Check) Did I push men away because I wasn't immediately attracted. (Check) Here's a tough one - Did I emasculate men? (Double check) Well - I tried another dating site (OurTime) and I approached the experience differently. I looked at men differently. I started to listen and understand where they were coming from. It really didn't take long after that. I met Randy on March 30th and on September 30th got a beautiful bouquet of flowers for our 6 month "anniversary". The card read - I hope these flowers are as beautiful as you". It made me cry.
FULL LOVE STORY
"There are wonderful, amazing, committed and kind men out there and I just needed one and I found my ‘one’. It feels amazing knowing that I no longer have to look, date, or decide anymore."
When I started following Evan and applying his suggestions, I had been divorced for 8 years and had only had one serious relationship that ended 5 years ago in that time. I’ve raised my son to tweendom, improved my health, built a six-figure business and seen both my mom and my best friend through cancer and their subsequent passings. I felt that romantic relationships were hard work and draining; that I didn’t have the time or energy to devote to a man. I didn’t have much respect or appreciation for men nor did I feel that I needed one.
I needed to figure out why I was getting plenty of first and second dates, but no boyfriend. I later learned it was because I wasn’t being soft, fun, receptive and open. I also needed to learn why I was attracting the wrong men (and later learned that I was actually accepting the wrong men).
FULL LOVE STORY
"Through the outpouring of your heart and ideas, I have reconnected with THE most wonderful person--ME! "
I am a divorced, 48-year-old woman who has been around the block a few times! I’m not even sure what exactly lead me to your website, but I think after years of dating and constantly being let down (and hurt) with the dating scene and men in general, I was feeling hopelessly discouraged about my future prospects for ever having a decent, healthy, loving, supportive relationship ever again. I was starting to believe it just didn’t exist! Believe me when I say that I tried everything! I’m a deep thinker who looks to herself first and I have grown and learned a lot in this lifetime. So why wasn’t I able to find a decent partner? I was beginning to think there was something seriously wrong with me. In any case, I’m not even sure what lead me to your website, but I think I went to YouTube first to look for something like “dating advice” or videos, anything to help. That is when I saw your YouTube videos, which lead me to the your website, and now on Facebook and your programs.
For several months, I've been absorbing Why He Disappeared, your emails, Love U podcasts and most recently Believe in Love.
I've decided that you are more inspirational speaker than love doctor/dating coach. You've taught me much (yes, I've made many of the mistakes you so bluntly discuss) but the most inspiring thing I've learned from you is not what you might think. Like many before me, I am writing to tell you that, through the outpouring of your heart and ideas, I have reconnected with THE most wonderful person--ME!
FULL LOVE STORY
"Believe in Love was the master key I was searching for."
I wasn't going on dates for many years, I felt frustrated and this frustration kept on growing. I take loving care of myself, I meditate everyday, eat healthy and exercise constantly and none of these were helping me. Believe in Love was the master key I was searching for.
I was unconsciously sabotaging myself, the intense frustration, fears of rejection, anger and guilt I felt, had prevented me from opening up to men again. I did not know how to deal with an intense break up with an ex, and I used it to protect myself from feeling pain again, and that blocked me from dating for so many years. I'm 32 years old and I started dating again after reading this book. Now everybody tells me how I have changed, I am more radiant, full of joy and beauty.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I feel so good! Best in many, many years! And the best of all is that you gave me hope in life back! Thank you!"
Truly Evan, I have to thank you a million times!
Before I bought your programs (WHD and Believe in Love) I was desperate, clueless and sad! After one not so good marriage and one long bad relationship, I had a few short relationships in between and have been through men that really sucked, alcoholics, one psychopath and the other mentally ill or emotionally disturbed in other ways. The latest relationship almost broke me financially as well. I couldn’t figure out why I picked those men and I thought it was my fault alone. At 50 I realized I didn’t want to live alone, but to live with such men was not an option either. I tried hard to find a new man, but the good ones just disappeared or didn’t really step up.
FULL LOVE STORY
"Re-writing my profile with your advice was one of the most fun things I did. Yes, that’s right, FUN."
THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.
Thank you, Evan.
Before I purchased the digital versions of “Finding the One Online” and “Believe in Love” I was lonely, frustrated and sad. I had been on a few dates with several guys but I was despairing of ever meeting anyone. It seemed like I wasn’t connecting with anyone and the people who did show up with an interest in me were not quite right for me. At the very least there was zero physical attraction. For a while, I thought I would just have to live with that.
FULL LOVE STORY
"The key is to remain calm and do my best. I am still hopeful to find a wonderful man, I know he is out there."
I am not inclined to acquire self-help books, but since I was aiming for the last relationship of my life, I was pretty sure, based on my previous experience, that I needed some guidance on "what men want, need, like and how to behave", the latter being the key to all issues. It was not that I was looking to please men, but I really wanted to understand their points of view, their behaviors, and how did they react and what drive them closer to us and away from us; hmmm, interesting findings.
The first thing I've realized was that I had a cookie cutter profile, full of non-specific information that didn't say actually anything special about me. I've contacted e-Cyrano for help writing the best profile, getting a catchy username and a linked headline. The guy who helped me did a fantastic job, my profile is very witty and it capture the essence of my personality, as well as who I am looking for.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I felt like there is hope. This has been a four-year process and Finding the One Online was the best investment for my heart."
I was feeling defeated after numerous attempts on 3 online dating sites, (four years) going out dancing, at least 3 times a week, in general all my efforts were pretty sad. I wanted to understand how I could put into words that I am a simple person and focus on pulling in the one who "gets" me. I needed to accept the way online dating operates, the nature of the beast, and learn the ability to stand out. But I stood out, thanks to you!
FULL LOVE STORY
"I’m no longer a failure at online dating, and my faith in my capacity to find my right one has been restored."
I’d tried online dating some years earlier after my divorce in 2007 but was dissatisfied with my experience; I rarely had dates and when I did, they weren’t so great. Clearly, I wasn’t doing it right; I had a generic profile full of adjectives, so it didn’t stand out from the plethora of profiles on eHarmony and Match.
In Finding the One Online, your instructions on creating the username, headline and profile were a revelation to me. However, because I’m generally uncomfortable writing about myself for other people’s evaluation, I enlisted the help of a longtime friend who teaches creative writing at the same college where I teach composition, and we had fun brainstorming! Then we moved on to writing one-line stories, leaving an opening for questions from interested men. I also learned to relax and be positive from your lectures, which are so motivational, inspiring confidence and an optimistic outlook.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I have been thrilled with the results. I only leave my profile up for about a day at a time, or I end up with more interested men than I can manage. "
I found myself newly single at 42. I had spent almost my entire adult life in long term relationships, and realized I knew absolutely nothing about dating. In my last relationship I jumped through the dating process into a commitment much faster than I should have, because I had no idea how to date and wanted to get to the part I knew how to do. I needed to get more comfortable with the dating stage, so I could have the freedom to be more selective about who I devoted my time to.
FULL LOVE STORY
"All I did was say yes. And now we’re married!"
I signed up for Match.com but found little success and honestly logged in very little. I decided to get a little more serious and had been reading your blog and receiving your newsletter for a couple of months already. I was overjoyed when you offered Finding the One Online at a bargain price and purchased it right away. I listened, laughed, considered, and (honestly) did very little with your advice. I thought my essay was already pretty good and made some minor revisions, but not much. The one thing I postponed was an appointment to take new photos. I did not follow your advice to take down my profile and just let it sit there.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I am so happy because I met Mr. Right.I am so happy because I met Mr. Right."
After being a member of Match several times, I have to be honest that I wasn’t fortunate at all to find Mr. Right. Most of the men I’ve encountered and had fallen in love with two of them are players. They left me with a broken heart and I promised to give up online.
Fortunately, 5 months ago, after buying “Finding the One Online” and learning why I needed to continue, I browsed the photos and profiles of single men online. To make a long story short, I am so happy because I met Mr. Right. He possessed the 3 important requirements that fit my need: chemistry, compatibility, and emotionally and physically attraction. We are committed and our relationship is going on strong for three years now.
FULL LOVE STORY
"9 months and 14 first dates later, I met the man of my dreams! Love is not a big enough word for how we feel about each other!"
When listening to you speak during the Soulmate Summit, I loved your tough love approach about finding love online. You were straightforward and brutally honest. I was really confused and unsuccessful with making the online dating sites work for me. I was frustrated about the men contacting me. And, even more frustrated being the initiator. I laughed my way through the whole email section of “Finding the One Online.” You like pizza? I do, too! You like beer? Me too! And, I was oogie! ME! The same person that hated and made fun of the oogie emails I received from men! I was so guilty of making all of the mistakes that you talked about but after listening to “Finding the One Online,” I was finally able to relax and start having fun through emailing, talking on the phone and meeting my dates. I was able to be myself and not the uptight interviewer carrying all my baggage around.
FULL LOVE STORY
"Evan’s advice about 2-2-2 is priceless. It really does make a difference to spend time getting to know the person one has met online through emails and phone calls before going on that first date. "
Before I started following Evan’s newsletters and blog, I was pretty clueless about where men were coming from in relation to dating. It was helpful to learn that all I really needed to do was to make my date feel good about being with me. I also was making the mistake of going after the wrong men — basically, men who were just like me.
I needed to learn what motivated and interested men when it comes to dating and how to move from initial contact to having in-person dates.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I’ve always disliked self-help, but from the moment I started reading “Finding the One Online”, I felt you were talking to me."
I read the “It’s not going to work out” text message from the guy I had met online and had been dating for 3 months. A TEXT message break up – really? I realized I was in over my head, and not confident about what to do, what guys want, what I did wrong.
I’ve always disliked self-help, but from the moment I started reading “Finding the One Online”, I felt you were talking to me. Your advice is direct and straightforward…and, as a type A personality, sometimes hard to hear.
FULL LOVE STORY
"When I received the new profile, my response was "That's really me!"
Working with the e-Cyrano team was a pleasure. Adam asked great questions in a curious and fun way to uncover my key attributes, values, and interests. I appreciated his supportive and kind demeanor during our talk which put me at ease to say what I was really looking for in a life partner, and what I wanted to come across about myself in my new profile. When I received the new profile, my response was "That's really me!" Thanks, e-Cyrano!
FULL LOVE STORY
"Now I have the MOST amazing husband and two adorable stepsons... all before I turned 40"
I contacted e-Cyrano to revise my essay that summer. Following your rewrite, I had tons of "hits", more than ever. One day I received an email from Ken (on Match) that read, simply, "Great essay". I filed it and moved on. About a month later I passed him on the street and we exchanged quick hellos. The next morning, I wrote him back on Match.
Six weeks after we started dating, he proposed. We were married six months later! Now I have the MOST amazing husband and two adorable stepsons... all before I turned 40! I couldn't have done it without you.
FULL LOVE STORY
"Within days of my new profile going on Match, I went from one or two "winks" to trading emails with two men - and one of them was the love of my life!"
Within days of my new profile going on Match, I went from one or two "winks" to trading emails with two men - and one of them was the love of my life!
When I met Jason, he couldn't stop talking about my profile. I felt a little guilty about having to tell him that I didn't write it... then I realized that they were all my words. You had put together the profile that I couldn't because you had listened to me and had confidence in me.
FULL LOVE STORY
I recommended you to my boyfriend's daughter, Holly, and you worked with her. She is getting married this October, too!"
It works! I've met a great guy already.....after about 6 dates... I'm in Colorado skiing this week and my new "friend' is making reservations to great events for us! I owe you a debt of gratitude as I had an incredible time on Match.com after you wrote up my profile. I remember you didn't know what you would write since I described myself all about wanting adventure but it worked! I recommended you to my boyfriend's daughter, Holly, and you worked with her. She is getting married this October, too!
FULL LOVE STORY
"I met my fiance on JDate, and yes, you made all the difference with my online dating experience. You were right about everything."
I can't begin to tell you how much this whole experience has changed my online dating experience. And really my whole outlook on dating. While I am still the same person who tried it a couple of years ago - I look pretty much the same and I act pretty much the same - somehow the package that you have put together is much more appealing and got me more hits, more dates and much more fun. For years after posting my e-Cyrano profile, I received a lot of comments telling me that my profile is great.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I had always hoped I would meet someone like Nick, and I definitely believe my profile is what made him reach out and contact me."
I decided it was time to put myself back into the dating scene and was going to do it right this time - by having a professionally written profile. It was easy to work with the consultant. I filled out the questionnaire online, then had a call to fill in the gaps. It was an easy conversation and did not feel like I was being interviewed. I loved my completed profile. It definitely captured my personality! I think the profile showed my adventurous side which is sometimes hard to convey because I can come across as conservative when you first meet me.
FULL LOVE STORY
"Thanks for providing such a great service - which ended up attracting my husband shortly thereafter!"
Hollie was my writer and I just wanted to let you know that she did an amazing job. She has a wonderful gift of pulling out the things about me that are unique and putting them on the page in a creative and memorable way. I've never had a great gift for writing, but Hollie is truly blessed. Thanks for providing such a great service - which ended up attracting my husband shortly thereafter! Thank you, e-Cyrano!
We are planning a wedding for November 14 (for now). We were a little optimistic when we picked the date back in March. We are excited to be getting married, but I would not recommend planning a wedding in the middle of a pandemic!
FULL LOVE STORY
"Thanks to you, my life is the best it's ever been."
I have the love of my life, my kids, meaningful work, and I'm healthy.
Thanks, e-Cyrano! Life is much better when you live it with love. And, thanks to you, my life is the best it's ever been. I have the love of my life, my kids, meaningful work, and I'm healthy.
FULL LOVE STORY
"There was no way I would have ever been able to describe myself or what I was looking for without e-Cyrano."
Before I contacted e-Cyrano, I was attracting men that I had very little in common with and becoming very frustrated with online dating. Getting my profile professionally written was my last effort before giving up.
I was so nervous about working with e-Cyrano. I worried that I would not appear interesting enough and that even a professional writer would have a difficult time seeing the true me in such a short time frame. Yet it was so easy working with your writer. She gave me great examples of little things that paint a good picture of me. She was great at drawing me out.
FULL LOVE STORY
"Honestly, everyone should use e-Cyrano."
I signed up for Match after attending the wedding of a friend's son who met his bride on match.com. I figured if it worked for him, it would work for me. I wrote my own (read that: boring!) profile and selected my photos and went on a few "coffee dates", but wasn't attracting or meeting the type of person I wanted for a life long partner. I contacted e-Cyrano in September and after working with you on my profile, my photo selection, my ID and headline, I posted our results in October.
My headline read "Two fish swam into a concrete wall. One fish looked at the other and said, "Dam!" I JUST LOVE that as a headline and literally EVERYONE that contacted me after I posted it commented on it!
FULL LOVE STORY
"He tells me I'm beautiful and amazing and awesome. With him I feel safe, heard, understood, cherished and adored. All things I learned to seek out thanks to Evan."
I participated in FOCUS Coaching and I wanted to thank Evan and the ladies in the community for being a part of the incredible journey. The biggest things that I learned from Evan was to give the guys who are nice, but I'm not necessarily hugely attracted to a go. To ask "did I have fun" and "do I want to kiss him?" after a date. I gave myself a three-date rule to work out if I wanted a guy to kiss me, and while I didn't want to kiss any of the guys I met online dating, I DID give the nice guys a chance and every date was a positive experienced and I learned so much about myself, and what I wanted - and most of all, how it feels to be treated well by a nice guy.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I found my backbone and confidence and fun — I checked the men who were too aggressive, who didn’t respect me and created positive energy wherever I went."
For various reasons that I don’t want to get into, though not for lack of opportunity, I had never had a relationship when I joined FOCUS Coaching. I decided that I could either spend the rest of my life alone or apply that logic and determination that I have so well in my professional life and try to find love.
So I really applied myself. I went deep into who I am and what I needed and wanted in a relationship. I found my flaws but also identified all the wonderful things about my character. I took a hard look at the kind of man I really NEEDED, the one who will stand by my side. Did he look anything like the kind of “successful” man I had superficially envisioned? I found my backbone and confidence and fun — I checked the men who were too aggressive, who didn’t respect me and created positive energy wherever I went. I believed in my own success, that this could happen. And I stopped dating out of a feeling of fear and scarcity — fear that I had missed the boat, that there were no longer any good men out there, that even if I were to find him, he’d think I was weird or wouldn’t accept me, blah blah blah. I had to get out of my own way and trust the process.
FULL LOVE STORY
"He continues to treat me like the most beautiful woman in the world, even now that we’re married. "
I'm the 68-year-old woman who joined your FOCUS Coaching last December.
I'm a fast learner and you had so much to teach me. Just a few: mirroring the man, dating more than one guy at a time, looking outside the box, sexclusivity, and more. Maybe the most important was the belief that I could strategize for love the same way I had strategized all my life to meet other personal and professional goals.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I finally feel respected; it is really nice to be in a relationship with someone thoughtful, smart, funny, kind, handsome, and successful."
I had one too many failed relationships and wanted to understand what part of the dynamic I created so that I could proactively create a new and better outcome.
I needed clarification on their motivations and what where signals that I was perhaps missing in a "chemistry haze" of attraction.
I learned how to relax and enjoy. If there was one thing that really helped it was to go online, date lots of guys so that none of them took on undue importance too soon in the process.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I know that now going forward the quality of my relationships will be much higher, making my ability to commit to a healthy relationship much more likely."
Before I joined FOCUS Coaching, I was still toying with unhealthy relationships and blaming the men in my life for being commitment phobic. I didn’t understand why I couldn’t find the “right” kind of men – good looking, successful, confident, AND ready to commit.
Through FOCUS Coaching, I learned that I was responsible for attracting and allowing those unfulfilling relationships! That I was approaching the dating scene with a “lack mentality” and therefore settling for less than a suitable match and tolerating bad behavior. But not only that, I learned that I was actually the one who was reluctant to commit to a relationship.
FULL LOVE STORY
"Today, I am confident and know that I am positively set up for a new man to come into my life."
I have felt helpless and insecure about how to act and what to do with the man I was dating. You advised: "don't do anything" and "enjoy the moment without taking a glimpse into the possible future together.” I learned my lesson and let him go forever.
Today, I am confident and know that I am positively set up for a new man to come into my life. I am aware of the traps like chemistry or taking action or not being in the moment and fully enjoying it. In addition, I have learned to focus on how he acts in between dates and to pay attention to his negative characteristics of a person. Either I can live with them or not.
FULL LOVE STORY
"In less than one year, I met my fiancé online."
After being married for 13 years, I was ready to jump back into the dating scene, and I knew I wanted to use online dating to meet the man of my dreams. So, I decided to do some research on “online dating best practices” and stumbled upon Evan. It had been a long time since I’d dated, and Evan’s tips about getting started online helped me go into the whole process with the right mindset and attitude.
My main goals were to determine the type of man I wanted to be with, who would be a right fit for me. In my past relationships, I’d always led with my heart first, and ended up being disappointed. This time, I wanted to make better choices so I could find long term happiness with a partner who was a good fit for me…not just someone I was physically attracted to.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I am so happy to have met a man who enriches my life and makes even the most mundane of tasks seem fun. Life has more possibility than I had imagined."
I felt like all I did was screw up. I am no stranger to self-improvement and self-help and self-awareness, but when it came to dating, I felt like I was from outer space. I couldn't understand why men did what they did, I felt like I was completely in the right and men were in the wrong, I felt like maybe it wasn't even worth it to put myself out there and try to find love. I felt cynical and jaded and hopeless. Most of all, I felt helpless to change anything.
I thought that if I had a great date with a guy, then it meant that he wanted me in his life. I thought that if there was immediate chemistry and attraction and good conversation, then we were meant to be together. I thought that it was perfectly all right for me to remind a man that I existed in between dates, by texting, calling, emailing, and checking up on him via the dating website. I thought that the best way to be happy in a relationship was to keep the man on a short leash. Unfortunately, none of these beliefs were getting me the sort of results I wanted in my dating life. It had been over a decade since my last satisfying relationship and I had nearly resigned myself to being alone and unhappy for the rest of my life.
FULL LOVE STORY
"Just listening to one audio coaching session helped me to change my mindset."
In FOCUS Coaching, I learned that I need to be my most confident self on every date. Spend 30 minutes a day on online dating sites and be confident enough to make the first move. I reevaluated my profile and wrote it to show him the benefits of dating me. Have gotten many compliments on it.
As much as I don't like to take the time to listen to audio sessions, I think they made the most impact. The first was about a woman about my age (I am 54) who was saying that she only dated younger men. I thought to myself this was me about a year ago (my ex husband was 8 years older than me) and so I opened myself up to dating men older.
FULL LOVE STORY
"I am grateful that Evan broadened my mind and heartened that the pool of interesting kind men my age is larger than I'd thought."
I've been dating on Match for 12 years. I needed to learn how to better sort and select men to meet so I don't get frustrated meeting the wrong guys or settling for 4-6 months with a guy who isn't right for me.
I listened to Evan's advice about expanding the pool of men I'd consider meeting. For the first time ever, I clicked the box for Unmarried Men on my search.
FULL LOVE STORY
"FOCUS Coaching taught me so much!"
I’m 60 years young and really wanted to find a life partner. Divorced for almost 9 years already…it was high time. I had done quite a bit of online dating by the time I heard about Evan…but BOY was I out of touch! And so glad to have found him!
FOCUS Coaching taught me so much! How to differentiate between something personal or not personal…how to interpret a wink or a quick flash email…and how to react to an obviously long form letter that was not at all directed at me- but to any female that would read and respond. I learned how to hear what he was saying through what he wrote and to take him at his word…if he said he wasn’t into a long-term thing- to believe him and move on. Being the “one to change him” lost all its appeal or to be his “savior” and the understanding one at my own total expense.
FULL LOVE STORY
"When I let go of my old beliefs’ about who I thought I was and or how I thought I was being perceived, life changed for me."
Before I began FOCUS Coaching, I was feeling very alone in the dating process. I knew what I was doing wasn’t working. I was treating going on dates as if it were a business meeting and thought men should like me just because I am this strong, powerful, and successful woman. On some level I knew that I lacked being feminine, intimate, sexy, and easy going. I was under the wrong impression thinking those qualities made me look weak. Boy, was I wrong!!
I wanted to understand how other women were getting all the online dates and I was not. I wanted to understand how I could be different in my online profile, and with initial phone conversations. I wondered what 40+ year old men thought about and who better to hear it from but a male dating coach!
FULL LOVE STORY
© Evan Marc Katz – Dating Coach for Smart Successful Women. All Rights Reserved.
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